Your wedding vows are so much more than words.
They’re not a speech, a comedy routine, or a Pinterest template, they’re a promise. A soul-deep commitment spoken out loud, witnessed by the people who matter most.
Yet so many couples find vow-writing the hardest part of their wedding. Where do you start? How do you balance humour with heart? How do you put something so big into just a few minutes of words?
As an Independent Celebrant in Northern Ireland, and using many of my teaching skills, I guide couples through this process and I can tell you, vow writing doesn’t have to feel stressful. In fact, when approached with the right guidance, it can be one of the most meaningful, transformative parts of your celebrant-led wedding ceremony.
Here are my 5 top tips for writing authentic, heartfelt wedding vows that sound like you.
1. Remember who your vows are really for.
Your vows aren’t for your guests, or your photographer, or social media. They’re for each other. That shift alone takes the pressure off. Ask yourself: what do I want my partner to feel when they hear these words? This is one of the most powerful mindset shifts when learning how to write wedding vows that are personal and lasting.
2. Keep the balance between personal and universal.
The best wedding vows mix inside jokes, tender promises, and shared truths. Too much humour, and it can feel like a best man’s speech. Too formal, and it loses intimacy. A gentle mix of lightness + depth is the sweet spot.
3. Speak from the heart, not from a template.
You don’t need to sound like a poet or copy lines from the internet. Your authentic voice, your quirks, your phrasing and your truth is what makes your wedding vow writing unforgettable. This is where celebrant guidance can help: I encourage couples to write in their own style, even if it feels imperfect. Perfection isn’t the goal...connection is.
4. Anchor your vows in your journey.
Think about what you’ve already walked through together: the silly moments, the hard bits, the milestones. Then look forward: what do you promise to bring to your shared future? When couples come to me for help writing wedding vows in Northern Ireland, this past–present–future structure is one of the most transformative tools we use.
5. Get support (you don’t have to do this alone).
Many couples worry about writer’s block, overthinking, or saying “too much” or “too little.” This is where I step in. As your celebrant and vow-writing guide, I help you draw out the right words, find your rhythm, and create vows that feel authentic, balanced, and powerful. Because when vows are written with intention, they don’t just mark your marriage. They transform the way you step into it.
Vow Writing Services in Northern Ireland & Beyond If vow writing is giving you nerves, know this: you don’t have to figure it out on your own. As part of my celebrant services in Northern Ireland, Ireland, and the UK, I offer:
🌿 Vow-writing guidance sessions where we talk through your story and shape it into words.
🌿 Prompts & templates designed to spark ideas without boxing you in.
🌿 Gentle feedback so your vows sound like you, not like a script.
Because your vows should never feel like homework. They should feel like home.
Looking for help writing your wedding vows in Northern Ireland or Ireland? Let’s make the process easy, meaningful, and even enjoyable.
Get in touch to find out how I can help you create authentic, heartfelt vows you’ll cherish forever.
Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash
